Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
