Your mouth is God's brothel.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
