lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
