You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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