I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
