Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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