in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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