He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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