we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
