Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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