its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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