You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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