if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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