So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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