I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
