The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
