He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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