thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
