I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
