we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So here I am, sexting at work.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
