I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
