I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
