the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
