Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
