Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
