I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
