Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
