Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize