Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
