rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
