i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So vagazzling was a success
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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