How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Oh god it's open bar.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
