Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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