she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
