don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
