Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
