Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
