We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
