I'm going to jail i love you
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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