there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
