whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i out mim tonsoeep
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