what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
