while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
