is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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