I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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