it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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