and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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