i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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