we have officially lost it.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
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I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
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I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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