I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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