It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
