They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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