Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
