so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
