You're completely useless in the revolution.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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