return my video game
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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