You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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