Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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