you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
